"Dear Diary..."

I just wanted to take a moment to step back from everything I have been doing since the start of the academic year for a small breather, to collect my thoughts.
This post is more of a 'dear diary' rant. Feel free to ignore.

I have been thinking long and hard about what I want to do for a career and it honestly terrifies me, I have always known I need to be in the art/media industry but I have these bouts (like I assume many other artists do) of feeling worthless and pathetic or just not good enough at what I do.

Today I have been to the first animation grill I have ever been too (an animation grill is place to get your work critiqued by people in industry and make connections).
I know this is where I belong, but perhaps in illustration or concept design. I don't feel I am ready yet to take the plunge into animation as a career, maybe I will when the year it up but that is quite a while away. I have also been contemplating doing a masters if I don't feel ready yet.

My first step is to get known; I need to make all my social media coherent and upload more of my work; nobody will know of me if I don't post it- kind of obvious, but I never really post much of my work. And I need to update my blogs consistently.

My second move will be building up my portfolio and show reel this year and taking things to the monthly grill. I am aiming to go under some major character development and just kind of pull my finger out and get stuff done!

To tie all this together I am sticking to a rigid timetable and hoping that it will pay off in the long run. To get on top of all my work that I have neglected doing so far, either through panicking about it or having no time in the day.

Recently my life has been very hectic and busy. The roller coaster that I am on feels like it is currently low and upside-down. It is just the usual things getting me down; finance and work getting on top of me and other none uni related issues. But I do tend to wallow in it and keep everything bottled up until I pop. I'm going to change it though, onward and upwards!

Righto, time to get some stuff done!